


Backtalk + Ethics + Rock + Hard Place

by Anonymous



Series: Mac + Desi + Zayn [11]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual!Desi, It's a musing about ethics, Mission Fic, Multi, Pansexual!Mac, Polyamory, S04E06, This is more friendship than romance but the romance is the background, nonbinary OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24912169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Someone needs to talk back to Russ, and Zayn considers themself perfect for the job.
Relationships: Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)/Original Character(s), Angus MacGyver/Desiree "Desi" Nguyen, Desiree "Desi" Nguyen/Original Character(s)
Series: Mac + Desi + Zayn [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1374475
Kudos: 7
Collections: Anonymous





	Backtalk + Ethics + Rock + Hard Place

Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the fact they hadn’t managed to get Desi and Mac to talk. Maybe it was just a visceral reaction to the anger in that man’s eyes when he looked at Russ.

No matter what it was, all Zayn knew was that they were ready to snap.

“That’s not exactly how we work,” Mac pointed out in response to Taylor’s demand for blind faith. It was reasonable. It was true. 

It was disrespectful and annoying, apparently.

“‘Not how you work?’” Taylor reeled around. “My _god_ , what kind of co-dependent sandbox did Matty raise you all in?” He was getting in Mac’s face, invading all of their personal space, and Zayn wanted to haul off and hit him, but that wasn’t their style. “The real world isn’t a fantasy land of mutual respect and trust, the real world is a place where people are complicated and disappointing. And some of us have actually made mistakes in life.”

He was breathing hard. 

“Are you done?” Zayn asked, putting as much even steel into their voice as possible. 

“Am I - Am I _done_?” Taylor spluttered.

They shrugged. “If you’re going to give us a condescending lecture, I figure I may as well let you talk yourself out before I reply.”

“This does not need a _reply_!”

“Oh, yes, it does.” Zayn glared. Their nails were biting into the palms but they kept their fists balled behind their back and their breathing steady. “I’m twenty-nine years old and I’ve worked for the US government for years. Mac was a bomb tech in the Middle East, Desi’s been an Army Ranger all over the place, and Riley’s a convicted felon who hacked the NSA. All of us are adults, and we are _well_ into adulthood.”

Russ opened his mouth to protest but they cut him off. 

“No, I don’t give a shit. We’re adults, and Matty didn’t raise any of us in any sort of ‘co-dependent sandbox’ or whatever other insult you think is clever because we were done being raised. And you know where I live, Taylor? Where all of us live?”

“LA?” he replied sarcastically. Zayn was surprised he was still here.

“No, Taylor, we live in your ‘real world,’ and we work there too, and just because you never learned to play well with others doesn’t mean that that’s the only way the world is. Just because we _can_ play well with others doesn’t mean we don’t know about disappointment and mistakes. Ask me about my father sometime, but you better buy me a drink if you do.” 

Zayn felt a hand take theirs, slowly uncurling their fist. It was Desi’s, but then Mac took their other hand. It was probably good, cuz they weren’t done, and they’d rather keep the blood in their palms.

“You’re supposed to learn to share and cooperate in elementary school, and I’m sorry you didn’t learn that like we did, but it’s not too late for you to start learning. And if none of this gets through to you, then I’ll present it in terms you’ll understand: your workers are unionized, and you’re nothing without us. Feel free to run off on your own, or you can tell us what the hell it is we’re doing.”

The ensuing silence was tense, and there was fire in Taylor’s eyes, but Zayn refused to back down.

“Breathe, baby,” Desi cautioned, running a hand down their back. “As hot as that was, you still need oxygen.”

Zayn took a deep breath at her suggestion, and it definitely helped. “Riley, I know you looked him up. What’d you find?”

Riley rattled off the details on his mission here, but they were sparse. Zayn was sure he wrote the report himself.

“The rebels just left?” Mac asked, knitting his brows. “Just like that?”

But Zayn was a step ahead. “What deal did you cut, Taylor?”

He looked away, but then back, defiant. Some of the wind was already fading from his sails. “I paid them off.”

“And now they’re back,” Zayn replied. 

Russ bristled. “You have no proof of that.”

“It’s a hunch,” they snapped. “That they used your money to come back and finance their next op. It’s too much a coincidence otherwise, a second rebel group, them taking your ex-girlfriend. They wouldn’t have done that if they weren’t hiding something.”

Riley nodded, typing a bit more. “They were investigating shipments…”

“Exactly.”

Taylor looked poised to argue. “As much as I love watching this,” Desi cut in, “the sure way to find out what’s really going on is to go see the factory.”

With that, she pulled Zayn in tight between her and Mac and started walking. It was a good strategy. Meant Zayn couldn’t escape, not that they wanted to, but also that they couldn’t throw down with Taylor, which was a much greater possibility.

It guaranteed peace at least til the team got to the factory.

\---

Mac and Taylor were talking on the jet while Desi and Riley slept, about grey morality and the fact Russ had paid off the insurgents again. Zayn couldn’t sleep, but they were just listening.

“Sometimes, all you can do is the wrong thing for the right reason,” Mac concluded.

“But you still have to acknowledge that it’s wrong,” Zayn replied softly. So much for just listening.

Russ bristled. “Oh? Then what would you have done?”

“Well, the first time around, I can’t say because I wasn’t there, though I feel you could have done something other than fork over a few million.” They stood up and came to sit on the armrest of Mac’s chair. It was hard to judge a situation they hadn’t been part of. “This time? I don’t believe there was a good alternative.”

“So you admit it!” Taylor sounded annoyingly triumphant. 

“You can know something is wrong even if you don’t have a better alternative.” But they nodded, because he had a point. “Tell me, Taylor, have you ever read Machiavelli?” they asked. Zayn had a well-worn copy at home, filled with highlights and underlines, dog-ears and post-its. They’d hated the book in high school, but a college professor helped them see it in a new light, and now it was invaluable.

“Sure I have,” he scoffed. “The ends justify the means and all that. I think it supports my point more than yours.”

“Nope.” They popped the ‘p.’ “Because it’s about how sometimes, as a leader, you need to get your hands dirty. Sometimes there are no good choices, like here. But you know what, Russ? You’ve still got dirt on your hands, and you don’t get to pretend it’s not there. And I’m the same.” They inclined their head. “Your emotions have been unbalanced this entire mission, and you've been taking it out on us. It’s because you feel guilty.”

“I don’t. I did what I had to.” His jaw twitched. 

Mac lifted his hand to rest it on the small of Zayn’s back. He seemed curious where this was going. 

As gently and diplomatically as they could manage, Zayn disagreed. “No, you’re guilty. But the thing is, you’re pushing it away and telling yourself you did what you had to and that makes it okay. And you don’t believe yourself.” They sighed. “You need to face it, Taylor. You need to stare down your guilt and make your peace with it, not shove it into the back of your mind until it flares up.”

Mac nodded. “That makes a lot of sense.”

“Pay attention,” Zayn advised, patting his shoulder. “Because your hands are going to get dirty, too, Mac. And this is how you cope.” God, he was delicate. Idealistic. So were they, but they were an idealist who read Machiavelli like the Bible. They firmly believed in trying to save everyone, no matter what, but they knew it wasn’t always possible.

Zayn hoped Mac stayed the optimistic idealist that he was, but already they could see him fraying around the edges. 

Russ tilted his head. “I just want to make sure you know that in any other career, you would’ve lost your job by now.” But he was smiling, just a bit, so they were pretty sure they were in the clear. 

“Good thing I’m not, then.” They smiled cheekily. “Good thing I’m in a career where this attitude is part of what makes me valuable.”

Taylor snorted. “Good thing.” But he seemed less pissed than before, which was probably beneficial for Zayn. 

“You should try to get some sleep,” Mac suggested, rubbing small circles over their t-shirt. “It’s late.”

“You should _also_ sleep,” Zayn pointed out. 

“Can’t.”

“Then I won’t.”

“Alright, well, you two have fun, I’m going to see if I can catch some Zs as well.” Russ stood up from his seat and sauntered off. 

Zayn slid into the chair, then changed their mind and sat at the floor at Mac’s feet. “So what’s keeping you awake?”

He tangled his fingers in their curls absently. It was one of their favorite ways for him to fidget. “I keep thinking about my dad. And the choice he made.”

“You get it now?” they asked softly. He nodded. “But make no mistake - he _chose_ , and his hands were dirty. It’s a stupid rationalization, that you were going to save enough people that it would be worth it - it was just cuz he loves you - but he was also right. You have saved so many people since then.”

“Loved.”

Zayn swallowed. “Right. Have you...talked about that with Cheryl?”

“Haven’t managed it yet.” He tilted his head. “I think it’s a little weird you’re on a first name basis with my therapist.”

“Hey, she was my friend first.” Zayn grinned at him. They patted his knee. “It’s okay. You can work up to it. And I’m here in the meanwhile.” 

He curled his fingers, making a pleasant tug. “Thanks. For everything.”

“Of course. I love you, Mac.” They didn’t mean to say it, but it was true, and their face was heating up but it was dark enough he couldn’t see. Besides, he could absolutely and correctly interpret it as platonic love.

His fingers jerked. “I love you, too.” 

Yep. Totally Platonic Love.

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic was inspired by how salty Russ' little rant made me, and I figured, yeah it'll be therapeutic to have Zayn yell at him. It was fun because it meant I got to really explore Zayn's ethical perspective, knowing they didn't agree with Russ but that they'd also been around enough to know that sometimes there are no good options. Where do they find balance?  
> Thanks for your continued support!


End file.
